i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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