i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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