You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
There's always time for handjobs
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
