Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
