Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I just googled if crying burns calories
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
