I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
