if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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