Just mADE A PArabola og urine
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
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