I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Randomize
