Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize