So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
