my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
