other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
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