So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Randomize