stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
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