The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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