i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
