Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
