I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
