hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize
