ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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