I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
