And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
