no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize