and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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