Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I think a kid would responsible me up
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
