I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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