Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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