Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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