apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
that's an acceptable place to lick
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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