i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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