man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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