guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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