it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
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