I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
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