what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
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