3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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