Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
