Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
