Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
