i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Randomize