I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize