i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Randomize
