Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize