hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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