I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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