it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Randomize