Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
