Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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