I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
