The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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