her vagine was all disorganized.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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