Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize