i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
