Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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