she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
