Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize