I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
