Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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