I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
