Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
