Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
