So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
