thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
