So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
