My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
