ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
