So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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