hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
