it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Randomize
