I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
