obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
