It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
