Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
