Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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