Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize