We won't sleep together?
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
