lets start a swedish sibling band together
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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