kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
